The Transformative Power of Appreciation

Being appreciative for the contribution of others in our lives and making that appreciation known can have a tremendous effect on our relationships and on our general daily experiences.

When people extend a personal effort for the sake of others, it is generally assumed that they do it from a place of love and selflessness...and this is of course good and indeed preferred. But because of this somewhat unconscious assumption, it becomes a little too easy to forget to show our appreciation for their efforts. In many cases, it becomes expected. For instance, we tend to expect our mothers to love us and to act on our behalf selflessly, so we wait until mother's day to show our thanks for all she does. But do we really need a special day reserved out of each year to do that? Not really. It's a nice gesture that is welcomed and appreciated, certainly, but not in and of itself the preferred consideration by most mothers. We should show our thanks to mother in every day moments, every time she puts off having her own dinner to feed us, takes time to listen with care and concern, or supports us in our dreams. It matters every day.

The same is true for every person who touches our lives. Fathers, Teachers, Mentors, Children, Friends, Siblings and Spouses. This is clear. But it is also true for those fleeting voices and influences we encounter. The cab driver, store clerk, bank teller, neighbor, or next person in line. They all deserve appreciation for who they are, what they do, and how they help make the lives of others around them just a little bit better by their contributions, no matter how seemingly small. Even if we're not sure what those contributions are, specifically, we can be sure that most people share a daily interest in being there for their family and friends. Sure, there will be times when they don't present themselves in a helpful or even friendly manner. But we all experience those times and don't always put forth our best self. It is in those times that we may actually need a little extra kindness, so we may do well to remember that when confronted with irritable faces in the crowd or at home.

The best way to show our appreciation to others in the moment is through mindfulness and good manners. Being observant and aware of how our immediate experience is affected by the words, intentions, and actions of others will help us to recognize how our life has been improved by it. It is a good way to remember our manners as well. The simple responses and actions that we give to others in each moment have a profound ability to demonstrate the meaningfulness that others provide to us in our lives. Whenever we have the opportunity, we should stop and pick up what someone dropped, open the door, wait just a few seconds more as someone may need, and say thank you -often.

On some level we all desire to be appreciated. Somewhere inside, it tells us we are making a difference for someone. It reminds us that we are loved, special, considered, and worthy of praise in the good works we do and in every small sacrifice we make for another. Appreciation is acknowledgment. When we feel acknowledged in what we do, we often feel inspired to do more. It creates a positive energy flow. So, let's appreciate those who have touched our lives and continue to do so.

How We Hurt

Humanity's unyielding destruction of the Earth carries countless consequences that cripple our ability to grow beyond the limitations of industrialized society. As we degrade the landscape we degrade our souls. As we undermine the importance of ecosystems we undermine the significance of our connection to the whole. As we turn away from those parts of the web that we have destroyed we turn our backs on our own conscience.

The first step toward healing the hurt is to educate and then to find new direction. In respect of this, I am passing along some useful resources here and on my website through a succession of postings and listings. I encourage you to share these resources with others. To begin with, please see the following:

An Online Endangered Species Handbook - Forests - provided by the Animal Welfare Institute.

Please also view the "Getting Involved" tab on my Holistic Think site.
http://holisticfox.wix.com/explorations

more to come...

Making Time for One Another

As an at home educator I understand all too well the need to find or recognize ways in which to bring meaning to each new day’s planning of activities. Some may be under the impression that home schooling families spend plenty of time together and therefore would not need to carve out special time for creating meaningful family moments together. But the truth of the matter is, home schooling families are in many ways just as time constricted as other families. While it may be accurate to say that home schooling parents are able to be physically present with their children more than those parents whose children attend a formal school, the necessary demands of normal life that affect most families are just as prevalent in the everyday lives of home schooling families as they are for others. Parents still have to go to work, some parents go to school themselves (I do), there are household chores and everyday hassles to be maintained and handled, children are many times involved in extracurricular activities and interests, and in many home schooling environments a structured learning routine is kept in place year round. The reality is it can be quite difficult keeping up with everyday obligations and responsibilities while still making time for family sharing and lighthearted togetherness.

As if hectic schedules and making time for separate interests wasn’t enough, the added distraction of various technological media enjoyments that fill the average household and pockets these days can really dig in to whatever time is left in a day to make meaningful moments out of. I know in my household we certainly love the gadgets and the various forms of media entertainment – so much so, that in many ways it is in itself a hobby for us. And this is so for a lot of households these days. We all have our reasons and it is not altogether a negative thing (though it can be if not kept in check), but because of this it is even more pertinent that we carve out real quality time for one another so that we don’t lose sight of our connections, what is truly important to us, and our sense of community – all of which is tied up in real time, in person social contact with those we respect and care for.

There are many ways we can become consciously responsible for creating and managing meaningful and lasting family moments. First of all we need to make a reference calendar that indicates both physically and in our mind what time frames of each day and each upcoming week that is obligated to other duties such as work and school hours /days (for each family member) as well as any other known events such as birthdays and scheduled doctor’s visits. We must also take note of how much time we have both daily and weekly to devote to personal time and entertainment. It doesn’t need to be precise, only estimated so as to gather a general idea of what should be expected, when, and how it may be adjusted to compliment or coincide with the activities of others in the family. We may consider, therefore, whether any of our personal time or entertainment time may work well tied in with that of others in the household. We should then determine on a weekly basis whether any of those activities may be shortened, combined, or done away with altogether for the sake of more important or worthy experiences. It’s all about choice really.

Making a schedule and getting each family member involved in the decision to maintain that schedule can go a long way in motivating everyone to follow the agreed upon routine. It is important to realize that meaningful moments can occur even when everyone is simply gathered in the same shared space to do their own project or study. It is also important to be willing to give up a few minutes of idle “free-time” for the sake of coming together with those who support us most in all we do. Everyone will be closer and happier for having made the time to connect and regenerate with one another. This can only really take place however if the time is spent in a relaxing and non-stressful way. So, the types of things a family decides to do together will have an impact on each person’s mood and mentality toward the time spent together as well as their overall willingness to keep actively participating in such moments together. 

(Will expand on this in a later post.)

Exploration

Exploration is a necessary and enriching part of the educational process. It involves hands on learning and personal involvement. It provides a learner with real world experience and contributes greatly to both the ability to perceive a subject matter from various angles and the capacity for understanding recurring patterns and intuitive connections. Memory retention is also enhanced as more senses become involved and therefore more areas of the brain are activated. Personal experience not only leads to better memory performance but also influences the way the brain develops and builds connections. It is not the only influential component to creating neural pathways and improving learning, but if experiential environments are created in meaningful ways that provide learners with opportunities for better understanding then more avenues of potential will be awakened and the learning process will be more enjoyable and filled with less stress for the student (and the teacher).

Exploratory lessons incorporated into daily educational activities lead to greater participation and awareness, and they allow students to recognize relevance of what is being learned to their personal and communal lives (which promotes ongoing interest). Involvement in these types of lessons can build confidence and cooperative behavior in students and can teach them how to learn from mistakes, brainstorm solutions, and take responsibility for their own decisions.   How much students learn from such integrative practices will depend on the degree to which teachers allow students to find answers, realize connections, and reach conclusions on their own. Guidance in the form of questioning is better than providing correction. 

(to be continued)

Why I Choose Home School

Parents always seem so relieved and even quite enthused when it’s time for their kids to begin a new school year. And it hardly ever has anything to do with looking forward to the education experiences that will be provided for their children or the new skills that may be learned through those experiences. It almost always has to do with getting the kids out of the house each day so parents can have more time for other things or some similar line of thought.

I cannot identify at all with the general feeling held and displayed by many parents this time of year. I see no benefit in being separated from my children for the major portion of every weekday for months on end, having strangers teach them and look after their needs each day with little care for their special interests or concerns, having no control over the subject material they cover or the learning techniques they use or the regular influences of their daily environment, and missing out on all their major learning advances.

Why do I choose to homeschool, or rather, educate my children from home?  

This is something I have been asked several times before. 

My reasons for homeschooling are many. 

In brief, they include:

• ·          personal experience with public education

• ·          observation of those close to me throughout my life within the school system

• ·         having a child with special health concerns

• ·         not wanting to vaccinate

• ·         not wanting to be a part of any compulsory system in relation to being a parent

• ·         not having first control over the situations and environments that affect my children's learning

• ·         not trusting that the system has my children's best interests in mind

• ·         not trusting that my children will be cared for or protected

• ·         not agreeing with the common structures and ideals of the system

• ·         wanting my children to have a holistic educational experience

• ·         wanting them to learn through cooperation rather than competition

• ·         having a different idea about what type of socialization experiences are required for healthy and well rounded personality and emotional development

• ·         not wanting my kids subjected to religious attitudes and teachings that are prevalent in many areas

• ·         having a different idea of what subjects should be taught to them and in what way

• ·          having a different idea about how much time should be spent inside a classroom setting rather than in real world settings

·          

·          

My decision has nothing to do with laziness (as has been suggested by some homeschool critics, I have heard). The research, preparation, and general effort that goes into ensuring my children experience the type of education and life learning that I believe they would most benefit from indicates something in great contrast to laziness.

And money is certainly not a deciding factor. Many people assume that if you are able to homeschool then you must be in a well off financial position. It’s true that it is not always easy or cheap to provide the things we want in our at home educational environment and since we are not frequently in the greatest financial shape there often is not enough money to do things exactly as we would prefer. Therefore we must often adjust our plan to better suit our finances...we make the extra effort because we know it is best to do so for our family.

To be clear, I certainly don't fit into any mainstream homeschooling group or label. For instance, many people that homeschool do so for religious reasons; to put a greater emphasis on religiously based curriculum/teachings. One of the reasons, as previously stated, that we homeschool is to keep our children away from strong religious leanings in their social and academic experiences.

I have never fit a common mold and I don't expect my children to either- if I am any influence on them at all.



To read more of my thoughts on education, please refer to the following essays that I have made available on my site Holistic Think! 

Personal Philosophy of Education
Alternative Education
The Holistic Learning Approach 

See more essays by visiting the home page of my website Holistic Think!
 

The Holistic Label

When we think of something in holistic terms, we often associate a feeling of well-roundedness or general well-being. Often, these associations are considered in relation to health matters and alternative therapies. These associations are clear, well defined, and generally understood by most. What may not be as clear however, for many people, are the holistic associations within other knowledge bases such as Educational theories/models, learning methods, and parental strategies. Once you consider what holistic means you can understand how it can extend outward into various directions to encompass a wide range of subject matters. 

The word “holistic” implies working with whole systems, rather than individual parts, to form greater understandings and a more complete consideration of each interdependent element of a larger whole. Therefore, anytime an area of study or subject matter is preceded in terminology by the word “holistic” it suggests a more rounded and fully encompassing approach to that subject. The holistic ideal stems from the philosophical concept of “holism” which says that the interconnected parts of any whole cannot be understood or even exist independently / separately of one another. 

So when we are presented with common matters in life that are accompanied by the holistic label, we are actually being invited to think about a common matter with new understandings and ideas that encompass a much wider spectrum of relatedness than perhaps had ever previously been taken into account. We are being asked to consider any connections to the matter that may have previously been ignored or brushed aside as not important to the overall function or solution of a matter. We are being encouraged to engage ourselves fully with a matter and not just with a portion of it. And, we are being asked to challenge old ways of thinking which have produced wrong/ineffective actions and poor results.

{This is the ongoing focus of Holistic Think! Blog and Facebook page. This is where I share links of interest, papers and books of interest, and any other relevant materials that I may find of significant value to the holistic perspective. As I am so inclined, I share my own thoughts about various topics of interest or things which I consider holistically relevant. The topics that I focus on here are so interwoven into the major concentrations of my life that I find myself often in need of some relaxed atmosphere or outlet through which to express my thoughts about them. If I make some worthwhile connections in the process or in some way inspire someone else to seek out the holistic approach in their own life, then I will be all the more grateful for that which has sought expression through me.}

Developmental Assets

            Within the four lists of developmental assets, located on the Search Institute website, subsequent age groups are discussed and from a personal perspective it would seem incomplete to deem only some of them to be in alignment with my own philosophy. I feel that each of the age groups listed are in some way in alignment with my own educational philosophy. The first age group which addresses early childhood and consists of ages three through five (though, the ages of birth through three is equally significant in developing qualities of trust and other positive relationship patterns and I feel this should be considered as well) is probably the most important in my line of thinking, as these years include a very significant stage of conscious and subconscious mind development which occurs between birth and age six. During this time a child basically becomes programmed toward certain responses to various life situations, develops a sense of self identity, and is able to assimilate information at an exponential rate. (Lipton, 2007) Therefore, this time seems to be crucial in laying a foundation for better learning pathways and emotional as well as psychological wellbeing which affects the ongoing learning process in a number of ways. 

 

            The next age group of course ties into the previous as it includes part of the developmental stage mentioned in the article by Dr. Lipton which was cited in the above paragraph. This age group, as covered by the Search Institute website, consists of ages five through nine or grades K-3. This is an especially important time for establishing certain positive behavior patterns and emotional responses that prove helpful and beneficial for the child’s overall psychological development as well as their continued progress throughout life. This is a time for setting foundations that will support the ongoing growth of the whole mind body mechanism of the child. I have two children of my own who are in this age group and they are schooled at home in order to provide them with many of the developmental assets mentioned in the list provided for this age group. Developmental assets are essentially those positive factors that when put into place reinforce the preferred healthy behaviors and attitudes within a person as they grow and develop throughout childhood and into adulthood. According to the Search Institute that provides these lists, which each contain forty developmental assets, the average youth will experience only about half of those assets listed with girls experiencing slightly more statistically. (Search Institute, 2007)

 

The lists include so called external as well as internal assets with external assets including such things as support provided by family and school environments and positive peer relations while the internal assets include such things as instilled positive values and social competencies. There are a few of the specific developmental assets listed for the age group five through nine that I find particularly relevant to my own philosophy and situation raising and home schooling two children in this age group. For instance, in the area of social competencies I find that I frequently work with my children on interpersonal competence incorporating scenarios into their daily lives which help to reinforce positive peer relations and help them learn how to properly handle what comes from those relationships. I also tend to concentrate much in the area of building self esteem, sense of purpose, and other aspects of instilling positive self-identities. Instilling positive values such as understanding social justice, encouraging honesty and integrity, and acting responsibly as well as empathetically are also quite important in my philosophy concerning the upbringing and development of my children and any other children whose lives I may influence. Many of the external factors are quite important to me as well, such as the extended family support, proper supervision, and community involvement.

The third list of developmental assets refers to middle childhood or ages eight through twelve. One reason I feel this age group is so relevant is that this is when children first learn to develop and maintain friendships, discover their talents, and apply previously learned interpersonal skills in everyday life particularly in relationships built outside the home. And the final list refers to adolescents or children ages twelve through eighteen. During this period of development, kids are not only changed and influenced by hormonal shifts but they are also presented with a number of day to day challenges and concerns that may not have been previously significant. It is during this time that many of the at risk behaviors displayed by some youths may become more noticeable through certain actions and non-actions. Many risk factors of youth are covered in the text entitled Foundations of American Education and some of these are especially prominent among youth in this final age group listed. (Webb, 2010) For instance, dropping out of school is an issue which occurs often in the teen years and this is also a time when we see more issues involving drug usage, underage sexual activity, and suicidal behaviors. 

Some developmental assets mentioned in the final age group (list) that would prove useful in addressing some of these at risk behaviors would include aspects of social competency, commitment to learning, and constructive use of time. For instance, for the youth who is a potential drop out, concentrating on areas which involve the youth devoting more time toward constructive activities through relevant clubs and programs would be a positive deterrent from such an action. For the youth who displays tendencies toward depression or suicide, providing more outside support and ways through which they may build their sense of self-esteem and self-power as well as create a more positive view of the possibilities that exist for their life and future may prove beneficial in curbing such tendencies. And for those kids who show signs of sexual promiscuity or drug use, building resistance skills and teaching them how to understand the influence of current actions on future circumstances through better planning and decision making processes are some areas of concentration which could prove useful in altering those behaviors. In great contrast, children who learn to identify well with others no matter what side of an issue they stand on and who learn to cooperate effectively with others early on will continue to utilize such attitudes and behaviors in their dealings with other people throughout life.  

References

 

Lipton, B. (2007). The Wisdom of Your Cells. Retrieved October 3, 2010, from Energetic Medicine Research: http://www.energetic-medicine.net/bioenergetic-articles/articles/35/1/THE-WISDOM-OF-YOUR-CELLS-Part-3/Page1.html

Search Institute. (2007). Developmental Assets. Retrieved October 3, 2010, from The Search Institute: http://www.search-institute.org/assets

Webb, L. M. (2010). Foundations of American Education (6th ed.). Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education Inc.